i figured that maybe i would try to manage my artistic projects in the
interim, and i played guitar and sang like a rock star then, however it
was unorganized even as i noted that i needed to keep that feeling
together in memory so as not to lose this potent realization… that was
the feeling of not constraining the feelings into a bubble in my chest,
to not lose the overwhelming sense of well-being i wanted to feel
whenever i played, and i soon accosted myself with thoughts of what had
happened to bring this moment….i cried then with the guitar in my hands
still playing to the music… the sick feeling finally hit me hard, and
all i could do was lay on the couch in a daze while viewing bits of
shows i wanted to see, i grew restless again though… in and out of
slight bouts with unconsciousness as sat there, but i was never ready to
pass out yet, though there are bits and pieces i don’t remember to the
movies i saw… however, i will not forget that inspiration hit like a
brick upside my head that day, and it is going to carry over to many
more days as they come….of that i am sure… i do wonder where the next
step will take us, and if we are all truly ready, probably not this time
around… although i believe there is always the chase to move about
within the time lines of my characters, perhaps developing a more
profound sense of being for each epic movement of their limbs, and maybe
this could be seen from the perspective of the conscious ants we are
from below… a sight from the shadow spots just behind the eyes of
titans, the mind as low to the ground as the feet perhaps, and then we
listen as the roar grows louder still… the thunder beneath the feet of
titans, but suppose there is a fatal flaw in this wider view, this
overwhelming noise and titanic vision becomes a veil enveloping our
senses to distract away from the nearing end of a particular phase to
life as we know it… some, and they are too few, see it for what it is
and cannot stop repeating the message…
