my waking life feels like condemnation from the inside, screaming madly
against the glass walls, but am i seeing what is actually on the outside
or are these filters even working at all?… i try to think, but all i
get is this empty space where a continuity of thought would naturally
appear to most of us, realizing the need for acknowledging those parts
of myself without being egotistic and narcissistic… esteem for the self,
but not a greedy taste for praise or foul chatter of the many,
something warm to hold onto for at least some time… i would want the
cast-off remains to be worth the time to repair, a memory like the self
is difficult to define certainly, and there are few ways that we can
honestly confide in ourselves against those training behaviors once they
are set into place… this is never really the end of the story for
anyone, however, because the choice to extinguish any creative flame
takes an almost predestine element by enacting pieces no matter how
distant as the general law tick-tocks this game show throw-down… where
do we even get off thinking that we can act superior outright, and yet
still maintain that we retain any semblance of control in the modern
world?… the right way to see through the wrong parts of the problem, not
allowing the mind to be so easily distracted by the details, but still
remaining aware of the reasons for fighting all the negative voices
silently speaking against the struggling warrior… it creates a
stupendous might not so impossible to utilize, an instrument to shave
away and fashion a means to make things happen, and the will to guide
and manage that which is beyond the average desire to create… we are not
merely puppets, but even the best among our species has had to succumb
to the sway of others coveted plans, including the pawn made personal
when the time is necessary to exploit the weakness…
